Panic attack

I dropped off Karissa at school and stopped at Starbucks to study my Python. My anxiety is so high. I’m not sure I can stay here much longer to study. I’m trying to focus. Trying to focus on slowing down my breathing. I’m safe. I know I’m safe but my brain doesn’t want to believe me. I ordered a Jade Citrus hot tea with honey and a cinnamon-raisin bagel. It is helping my stomach, now if my breathing would slow and my focus would just concentrate on coding. Hearing aids are off. Headphones on and some nice, quiet instrumental music […]

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Always remember

After a near-accident on the way to bringing Karissa to school, (never try to cross traffic on a very busy multi-lane street kids, especially when you can’t see me.. your oncoming traffic), I’ve decided to sit down for a few and relax. I’m glad I was going slow since we were coming up on a red light. She was moving perpendicular to my car. Why, I ask, would anyone put themselves in that situation? Did you really need to be in my lane so badly that you risk yourself? It’s not worth it, folks. I posted this, this morning on […]

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Always check your laptop’s battery level

My laptop is dead. I forgot the last place I was using my laptop was at the rink that didn’t have a free outlet so it died. I’m again at a place with no outlet. Oh well. I will write on my phone. I guess ‘type’ is more the word I’m looking for. I’m at the Lovelace Hospital. I had to see my Hematologist for my anemia. I need to take an iron tablet on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’m sitting in the cafeteria waiting for my ride. I told Tom that I didn’t feel like driving today so I […]

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Stabilizing my mood

My therapist’s appointment is in this tiny town, smaller than the one I live in. Drove to the edge of town… took about a minute or two. I stopped by this place called Mama Bears and had lunch. Three tacos and a coke for $5. I couldn’t really beat that. Of course, I wasn’t able to eat my third taco so I asked for a to-go box. This place is busier than I’d expect in such a small town. Everyone knows everyone here. It’s a very family-ish feeling. It brings me back to when I lived in Babenhausen Kaserne in […]

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Yes, I’m ok. I think…

Why do scones tend to be dry? Is this a thing? Why is this a thing? Yesterday’s mail included the high schoolers’ date and time they are to get their schedule. I’m excited for them. I also feel a bit more overwhelmed that school is about to start again. Not that this summer has been very relaxing. Haha. So they will have their schedules at the end of this month. Karissa has her college schedule for the Fall semester. Karissa’s back to school things are taken care of by her financial aid and I think I’ve already spent enough money […]

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Birth Story… Alexis

I have been meaning to do this for a while. So here we go: My pregnancy with Alexis was easier than Karissa’s. It wasn’t new so I knew what to expect. I did get pretty sick a few times. I had the stomach flu and though I didn’t want to eat, I was told to eat. I had the flu, which I was closely monitored. With Karissa’s heart surgery, the doctors wanted to watch my pregnancy with Alexis more closely. I had ultrasounds every few weeks and more prenatal appointments. Since I was given level 3 ultrasounds outside of our […]

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