Psychologically confusing

My allergies are so bad right now. I forgot to bring eye drops but that’s alright. I have been to Karissa’s college for a bit. We live about 45 minutes away. So I like to save gas and not drive so much, given the fact that driving isn’t my favorite activity. So I have been studying Linux at the library while she is in class. My anxiety has not given me the chance to be completely comfortable there at their library. Although I do love the atmosphere there. The sentiment I have with Karissa is if she needs me, text […]

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Anxiety

My therapist said to try writing when I’m having anxiety. So, here I am. There are different types of anxiety I get. Well, more like different symptoms of anxiety… some are easier to deal with than others. The shortness of breath and me “taking over my breathing” is the hardest. Mostly because I feel lightheaded and I just want this feeling of anxiety to stop. More than anything, just for it to stop. What am I having anxiety about? Not too sure. Which is why I’m writing. I do have an idea. Or a few ideas. So let’s put that […]

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Today has been a mentally hard day.

Today has been a rough day, mentally. Even though I try hard not to read the news, with the internet it’s hard not to know what is going on in the world. Suicides happening, the #metoo movement has brought abusive relationships to light. It all brings many things to surface that I try hard to keep buried. It is scary how easy it is to be gaslighted or emotionally torn down. This is not a secluded subject. It is more common than we like to think. This is also not something that is isolated to one group. This happens to […]

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We continue again…

I keep imagining those little clips after a tv show had a cliffhanger. “Last week on _____.” The end of 2008 I wanted to start school again. My dad had a Master’s degree and dammit, I wanted one too. I fought hard to convince Mike that I can go to school, go to work, and focus on him. As I look back, he never had concern if I could take care of my girls at the same time. I received my Bachelor’s in Computer Science and my Master’s in Computer Networking. For every time that I needed to do homework, […]

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Continuation again…

I feel like the next chapter in my life started right under my nose. Much like one therapist has told me a few years back, is that Mike had a plan and I didn’t. Mike, my ex, moved into my house the beginning of May 2006. I can’t honestly say why he moved in or when exactly. I just know that he was over a lot while I was at the hospital visiting my dad. That month was such a blur for me. My dad was dying of lung cancer and I was having a hard time dealing with it. […]

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The continuation…

This is going to be such a long post. This is also a three part post. There should be a cup of coffee and a croissant involved with reading this. I won’t apologize for I really do need to get all this off my chest. Do you ever spell a word, it’s spelled correctly although you swear it’s misspelled? That happens to me all the time, even though I’m pretty good at spelling. Comprehension has always been a bit of something I have to apply myself towards. Reading almost always consists of having a dictionary, or now my phone, close […]

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