Staying focused..

I haven’t been doing well with writing consistently. Focusing and getting things done is much harder than it should be. I have an appointment later this month with psychiatric medicine. I’m hoping it will help with my Cyclothymia. The therapist gave me a log that I have to rate my symptoms. The crazy thing about this is that there is one box for each symptom per day. It doesn’t work that way. I can be happy and energetic one hour and the next I’ll be sitting on my bed zoning out and not being able to get myself to get […]

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Taco Tuesday

It just occurred to me that we had tacos on Taco Tuesday. I need a solid state drive. My computer takes a bit to load from startup. It reminds me of dial-up internet. When you started the connection and left the room to make a sandwich, then go to the bathroom, then maybe danced around the room for a bit until your internet was connected. That’s my computer right now. I look over at Tommy’s computer, the just-upgraded computer with his solid state drive and that computer would be up and running before I can even think of leaving the room […]

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Remember the last time you updated your site? Good times..

That’s Tom’s way of saying that I have not written in a bit. I have the worst writer’s block ever. I don’t have a fear of writing. I may have a fear of not writing well. There may be a quote about that somewhere. My head is so fuzzy at times that it’s hard to get a good coherent thought out there. I studied today for a bit. My doctor has told me to associate many of the tidbits that I need to memorize to something familiar. I’m finding that to be much more work. So much that I disassociated […]

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Paranoia

I keep thinking that I should write more. That I will write more. Here’s to attempt number.. I lost count. My paranoia is starting to get to me, making it hard to study. From studying my A+ certification I’m not sure if I’m learning more or finding out that I don’t know as much about computers as I thought. My paranoia works several ways: The feeling those others are watching me. (This is me right now) The feeling that I need to be attending to others’ needs or that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, thus about […]

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Sick again..

I have received everything I need to do my taxes. The beauty of this is that this time whatever I get back from taxes is mine. Just mine. It’s not for anyone else to buy any speakers, cars or televisions. Not for anyone to spend just for the sake of spending money. I can put the money away and save it. No one upset at me because I’m not spending my money on them. As crazy as it may seem, just having some control back, whether small or big, has been a goal for years of wanting to get out […]

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Hmmm

I need to stop being depressed and do my paper. Considering I won’t have much time for working on it this week, I should get to it. The sun is gone. Somewhere behind the clouds. It is a little chilly. Not so bad since it has been so cold lately. Anxiety. My coping mechanisms haven’t been working too well lately. I have looked up anxiety. There is so much.. o Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety Disorder o Generalized Anxiety Disorder o Phobic Disorder o Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) o Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) I start to think my coping mechanisms […]

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