Living in a household with some extroverts, I have seen a common scenario. One would think that an extrovert living with an introvert would understand by now, but no.
As an introvert, I’m pretty quiet. Not talking or being alone doesn’t bother me. I don’t always feel like talking. I’m comfortable with being alone. I’m good at boring. I don’t really get bored.
Since I am quiet there has been instances where I will be in a room of people and being asked if something is wrong or if I’m mad because I’m not talking much. No, I’m just a quiet person. I’m perfectly happy with not talking at the moment.
Or it can be the scenario today while waiting for everyone to finish up hockey practice and coaching. Minding my own business, reading, I’m suddenly bombarded with questions by Alex. Am I mad? Am I ok? Did I (Alex) do something? By now, since I did nicely greet him and smile, I’m thoroughly confused by these chain of questions. It is like some truly believe that if a person isn’t being chatty that there is something wrong.
Maybe it is just me sometimes cause I’ve had introverts ask me if something is wrong cause I haven’t said much. Also, my little chatty girl is an introvert. Am I supposed to be more talkative? Am I being less talkative than I should be? Is there some unwritten code of ethics that I have not been aware of?
Ok, as a person that loves psychology I do know that chatty is synonymous with friendly. I do also know this isn’t true to every single being on the planet.
Not to say that I can’t be talkative. I can be. It’s also exhausting after a bit. With my shyness and social anxiety, talking is more work for me than most. I was much more talkative when I was younger. I’ve been told that I never shut up. I guess with being conditioned by my mom to not speak, my shyness and my growing social anxiety.. it became harder to just start talking.
So much so, that I’m comfortable with not talking and just taking in the scene. No, I’m not in a bad mood. No, I’m not angry. No, I’m not sad. No, I don’t care if you rattle away about what is on your mind. No, I don’t care if we read our phones in silence or play on our respective computer in silence or watch TV together in silence. I’m ok with silence. If you aren’t, then ask me some questions, not enquiring my mood because I’ve only said a few words, and we will have a conversation.
Is hockey done yet? I’m hungry.