Therapy was good today. We talked about relaxation techniques for my anxiety. She worried about my anxiety turning into the start of OCD. Which, yes, I know I have a tendency to sometimes though I do catch myself. For the most part. I was able to get to my therapy early so I was sitting in my car for a bit. I kept hearing things around my car, there wasn’t anyone around but I kept hearing things. I was fearing that something or someone was by my car, so I got out and went inside the building to feel safer. I hate how my anxiety turns to paranoia and how it controls me. It controls my mind… it’s just so uncomfortable. The feeling of being out of breath and feeling like I’m going to be attacked. Rationally I knew I was safe. I know that nothing was out there. Trying to convince my head that everything is ok just doesn’t always seem possible.
We mostly talked about behavioral relaxation techniques today. The other types will come later. I should ask for that small packet we were reading. Trying to remember these off the top of my head doesn’t always work. From what I remember, some of the techniques are: distraction, sitting alone in a quiet space, reading, doing something creative, shifting to another part of your brain (say if you were doing math, you could start gardening or something that is completely different or if you are in a social situation, you can spend some time alone), exercise or something active, social interaction (it can be a sort of distraction), journaling, playing with pets. I can’t remember any more. I do know there were a few more techniques.
With everything happening in the news lately, my anxiety has been through the roof. I try to avoid the news and sometimes social media. I was told to maybe, not avoid these things, but to learn to tolerate them. I can choose not to read something or not to engage in any discussion. Lastly, we talked about eating habits since I tend to not eat when I have anxiety. I barely took in 800 calories yesterday. Today wasn’t that great either, though I did eat more than I did yesterday. I’m to eat small meals that are nutritious when I don’t feel like eating. Maybe supplement one of those drinks that have a lot of vitamins or a V-8.
I’m guessing that transitioning to a different anxiety medication, that takes around 3 weeks to actually work, isn’t exactly helping me at the moment.
I think I may go read for a bit. I have a new book, ‘Illuminae’ that I have not started yet. 🙂