Sick again..

I have received everything I need to do my taxes. The beauty of this is that this time whatever I get back from taxes is mine. Just mine. It’s not for anyone else to buy any speakers, cars or televisions. Not for anyone to spend just for the sake of spending money. I can put the money away and save it. No one upset at me because I’m not spending my money on them.

As crazy as it may seem, just having some control back, whether small or big, has been a goal for years of wanting to get out of an abusive relationship. That is even a hard word to believe: abuse. I still feel in a small questionable way that I wasn’t abused. Although all aspects of my mental well being has told me differently. Even with my kids, I can see symptoms of being abused in some way, even if they too are not totally aware of this. I still wonder how I had gotten myself into this. Yes, I know that many circumstances have led me to believe why I have slipped into this. Many things I look back on now, I certainly would not have put up with today.

Onto other things for the moment.. I have another sinus and ear infection. I feel the worst today. Stuffy head, chest congestion, headache, earache, sinus pressure, achy, lack of energy. My bed is calling me.