Staying focused..

I haven’t been doing well with writing consistently. Focusing and getting things done is much harder than it should be. I have an appointment later this month with psychiatric medicine. I’m hoping it will help with my Cyclothymia. The therapist gave me a log that I have to rate my symptoms. The crazy thing about this is that there is one box for each symptom per day. It doesn’t work that way. I can be happy and energetic one hour and the next I’ll be sitting on my bed zoning out and not being able to get myself to get up to do what I need to get done. So simply having one box per symptom each day is, well, not exactly correct. I have been just generalizing what I’ve been feeling for the majority of the day.

I think about doing a lot of things. I remember what I use to do when my moods didn’t stop me so much. I used to write all the time. About anything really. One of my fondest memories was sitting in the backyard water coloring and journaling. All the while trying to come up with some idea that will allow me to use the kitchen to bake cookies. My mom didn’t like me being in the kitchen. She was always afraid I was going to make a mess. So I would always make cookies with my dad with the promise that we will clean up.

Which is why I hope the medicine will at least help keep my moods stable. I am not usually partial to medication but sometimes they do work.

Oh! Halloween is tomorrow! Too bad blogs don’t necessarily have automatic emojis that pop up, like on our phone, when typing. I’d put a pumpkin emoji here. I haven’t watched It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Or the Nightmare Before Christmas yet. Maybe tomorrow I will look for it on tv. Going into the stores now you’d think Halloween and Christmas are celebrated simultaneously. As if there isn’t another holiday between those holidays. Although the snowman Christmas tree at Walmart is really cute. I’ve always had the daydream of having a Christmas tree of varying sizes and decorations in each room. Back to Halloween. It just seems that it’s glossed over now. Stores have the same cheap kind of decorations and no one really gives out candy anymore. I do live in the country, so I can understand the part of having no candy around here. Of course, with my moods and just not feeling up to anything, I have been letting holidays gloss by without much participation on my part. I have Halloween houses and decorations.. maybe I will put them up next year. I should get my Christmas village houses and put them out this year. Also, I need to bake more. I really haven’t baked much as I did before.

I should be off to bed soon. Goodnight all! 🙂 Happy Halloween!!

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