Today feels much calmer than it did 24 years ago, even with recent events. September 11th will always carry weight, but the intensity has softened with time. The fear, grief, and shock of that day have given way to quieter moments of reflection. We remember where we were, how the world changed, and the lives lost—but the day no longer feels as heavy in the air as it once did. Instead, it’s a time to pause, honor, and carry forward with a sense of resilience.
I remember watching it on TV and calling Kevin over. He was getting ready for work, while Karissa was still asleep. At first, I didn’t even understand what I was seeing—everything was so confusing. It didn’t occur to me that it was a terror attack. As the day went on and more news came in, the reality started to sink in. Kevin said we’d definitely be going to war now. I didn’t want to hear that. War meant he might have to go, and part of me wanted to be selfish—I didn’t want him anywhere near it. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t think only of myself.
I’m trying to remember what happened in the days after the attack, but so much of it is a blur. What I do know is that he eventually went to war. The timeline is fuzzy—there was a period of preparation, and everything felt uncertain. I remember that Karissa was three when he left, and I was still pregnant with Alexis. Wait, no—Karissa must have been two, since her birthday is in May and he left in January or February. By that point, he should have been out of the Army, but his service was extended because of the war. The details blur together now; it’s all so hard to piece apart. He died the following year in 2004, when Karissa was three and Alexis was just one.
My mind feels like a blur as I try to remember it all. Sometimes I think I should write down my memories, if only to piece them back together.
I spent the morning with Lexi, as Kel and I took her to the audiologist. They weren’t able to do her hearing test because of wax in her ear, so now we need to set up a doctor’s appointment to have it removed. We also discussed new hearing aids for her, but at $3,000, they’re expensive—Costco’s are about half that price. Lexi wants to check out Costco since it also offers a free hearing test. I was fairly certain that insurance wouldn’t cover hearing aids; they rarely do.
Now I’m back home coding. It just started raining, and I had completely forgotten that rain was in the forecast. We had to hurry and bring Merlin inside. Oh, and last night Tommy took care of the wasps by spraying their “nest.” It was on the side of the dumpster, though I’m not even sure it really counts as a nest.
Tommy has practice tonight, and we’ve decided on ravioli for dinner. I’m planning to make some tea, wrap up my coding, and then spend time reading on my Kindle. I’d like to see if I can finish the book I’m on—I think I can manage it tonight.
