Another Monday. And it has already been quite a Monday morning.
Tommy’s truck wouldn’t start, so they had to jump it before anyone could leave. That, of course, set the tone for the day: a little rushed, a little flustered, everyone slightly behind schedule. Still, it seems like everything worked out. Tommy and Kel made it to work, Chris made it to school, and the crisis of the dead battery has (hopefully) passed. Alex stayed home today and is working on homework in his room. The house feels a little quieter.
I realized this morning that I haven’t journaled since Wednesday. I actually missed it. I didn’t expect to, but I did. I thought about writing on Thursday, but Tommy was home with the flu or something, so instead we claimed the couch and spent the day watching TV together.
The Olympics wrapped up. Out of the 12 gold medals the U.S. brought home, 8 were won by women. I think that’s pretty amazing. The ice skating and hockey were my favorite sports to watch.
Thursday night, we ordered pizza because no one had the energy to cook. Friday blurred into Thursday: more couch time, more TV, restful and slow. For dinner, we made soup and grilled cheese.
By Saturday, Tommy felt better, so we ventured out for dinner ingredients. Tommy made enchiladas, including the sauce from scratch. It was delicious.
Sunday started early. Tommy woke me up at 6 a.m. to watch the Olympic men’s hockey final. I think hockey is the fastest way to wake up Tommy, and the U.S. won gold, which made the early wake-up worth it. After watching a little more TV, we went to the store again to pick up supplies for burgers. When we got home, Tommy took a nap while I played Final Fantasy. We made dinner, ate, and then headed out for his hockey game.
The team played really well. And Tommy scored the game-winning goal.
I know exactly what I need to be doing right now. I’m studying. The material is right in front of me. The time is carved out. Everything is set up the way it should be. And yet, I’m having trouble staying focused.
I don’t even know why. My mind just keeps drifting off. I’ll read a paragraph and realize I didn’t absorb a single word of it. I’ll stare at the page, and suddenly I’m thinking about something completely unrelated. It’s not that I don’t want to study. I do. I just can’t seem to anchor my attention today.
At least I set up my week in my planner yesterday, so that’s one thing I don’t have to think about. It feels good knowing that’s already organized. The laundry is in the dryer, humming away in the background, so that’s another task in motion. Life is moving forward, even if my brain feels stuck.
I also need to finish reading The Black Cauldron. I’m so close to the end. It’s funny how I can focus on a story more easily than on study material sometimes. Maybe it’s because stories pull you along, while studying requires you to push yourself forward.
I wish I had more discipline today. Or maybe not even discipline, maybe just steadiness. The ability to sit, read, and stay present. Instead, I keep zoning out, like my mind is gently slipping through my fingers.
Maybe today just needs smaller goals. One page. One section. One focused block at a time. Even if I’m not perfectly disciplined, I can still show up in small ways.
Oh. My hearing aid is acting up again. The right one isn’t working, so I’m bringing it in on Saturday to get it checked out. It’s frustrating when something you rely on every day suddenly decides not to cooperate. Hopefully it’s a quick and easy fix.
It’s already 4pm, I’m going to make myself some matcha tea and get another hour in to study.
