PTSD is like bad memories on steroids. When we experience a traumatic event, our brains get locked into that event almost exclusively emotionally. The brain is having trouble using logic to overwrite the emotional response. We logically know that we are safe and made it out ok. Yet our brain can’t think our way out…
Not focusing today
My focus just wasn’t here today. I did a little coding today, paid some bills and laundry. My mind keeps replaying yesterday’s drama. I’m glad I was there to take control of the truck. I’m ok, and so is Tom and Karissa. But I was scared. I didn’t know what was going on with Tommy…
Tommy’s wild ride…
I found two dresses today. Tom, Karissa and I went down to the city to look for dresses. We started at Kolh’s and ended up at JCPenny. The drive down was dramatic. Tommy was drinking his coffee and he started choking on the coffee. Next thing I notice is that he blacks out. I grabbed…
Another Mother’s Day
It’s almost Mother’s Day. This is such a bittersweet holiday for me. On one hand, I like the holiday. I like being a mom and I get to spend the day with the kids. I like hearing them wish me a happy Mother’s day. On the other hand, I’m reminded of my dysfunctional relationship with…
Buggy needs brakes
I spent today coding and learning about loops. While loop, do while loop, for loop. I’m all looped out. Of course, I had to start my day by failing Tommy. He told me I should journal about it. But I can’t cause the reason for such failure in jest, which cannot be talked about here….
A not so manic Monday
It’s Monday, and I spent all day coding one function. One. That’s all. That was my day. Reading about JavaScript and doing a lot of Googling, I have discovered that many people aren’t crazy about JavaScript. I read that JS has quirks that other languages don’t have. I don’t know JS well enough to know…
Sunday randomness
My headphones died, so I’m charging them. This should take a half hour, and then back to watching videos. I’ve been reading all day and have finished Beach Read. It was a fun read, a feel-good story. It feels less like a story revolving around relationships and more like a story focusing on individuals who…
A rambling kind of day
Saturday, I’m getting my hair cut. It has been a few years; it is time to cut this damn hair. I like my hair long, but it has just gotten too long. I feel like hair is an extension of my personality and almost an expression in and of itself. It also keeps my neck…
Case appeal
That title is almost click bait. But not. I never know what to title these posts. After researching Google, Tommy discovered that the drunk driver that killed Kevin appealed his case. It was unsuccessful, and back to prison for the time the judge initially gave him. I’m not sure how I feel about all that….
Paranoia
Sandy scratched my hand today. She was sleeping on my clean laundry and didn’t appreciate me taking the clothes and folding them. Lately, I have been having nightmares. Nightmares about being watched, my ex being out to get me, and being attacked. It makes me angry that I still believe that I will be harmed….
