I’m sitting here at a Chili’s in the city, making the most of their surprisingly decent WiFi. I had my cardiologist appointment earlier, and they immediately teased me for disappearing for three years. Honestly, fair enough – I only went because Tommy insisted. But they’re right, I really should be going regularly. My EKG looked good, though, and they’re ordering an echocardiogram just to check on things.
After the appointment, Alex and I thought we’d swing by to see where Kel works since it’s close by, but downtown driving turned into an adventure. At one point, he almost turned the wrong way down a one-way street, so we decided to skip that plan and just come back when Kel gets off work.
Alex was getting more and more frustrated navigating the area, so he finally said, “We’re going to Chili’s,” and here we are. I had a salad and a Coke Zero. I was kind of hoping we’d hang out at Starbucks, but honestly, Chili’s is fine. The WiFi’s good, the vibe’s mellow, and it’s a decent place to kill a few hours.
I just got a call from the cardiology scheduling department, and they’ve set my echocardiogram date for March 20. It feels good to have it on the calendar – it makes everything feel a little more real and a little less like something I’m just procrastinating on.
I think Alex is getting bored – we still have about two and a half hours before Kel gets off work, and he keeps getting up to walk around. He’ll sit for a few minutes, fidget a bit, then wander off again to look around the place. I can tell he’s restless, and honestly, I don’t blame him. It’s a long wait, and there’s only so much to do before the boredom sets in.
I’m starting to feel a little restless, and the anxiety is creeping in. I know they probably don’t mind us hanging around here for a while, but I still feel uneasy. Being outside the house does that to me. It’s hard to explain – there’s this pull, this sense that I should be home instead. When I’m out, I just don’t feel fully settled or comfortable, like I’m slightly out of place no matter where I am.
I suddenly feel like I want a coffee, even though I can’t quite explain why. It’s not like I need the caffeine, and I’m perfectly content sitting here with my Coke Zero. But something about coffee – the warmth, the comfort, the little ritual of it. I don’t think they serve coffee here at Chili’s.
Guess what?! Chili’s actually does serve coffee! And it’s not bad at all. They even brought out creamer and sugar, which made it feel a little more comforting. I’m not sure why, but coffee always seems to take the edge off my anxiety. It doesn’t make logical sense, but something about coffee just helps me breathe a bit easier. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference.
I’ve got about an hour left, so I’m going to go ahead and wrap up this post. It’s one of those steady, gray rainy days here in the city—the kind that makes everything feel a little slower and quieter. It’s raining back home, too, though I’m sure it’s colder up there.
