I applied to a lot of jobs today, but I’m starting to feel discouraged by the whole job-hunting process. One of the biggest challenges for me is that almost everything is done online now. I know technology has made applying for jobs more convenient, and in some ways, it’s definitely easier than it used to be. However, I can’t help but feel like something has been lost along the way.

When I was younger, looking for a job meant physically going from place to place, asking if they were hiring, picking up applications, and filling them out by hand. It was time-consuming, and honestly, it could be a pain to complete the same information over and over again. But at least I felt like I was actively doing something to find work. I was getting out of the house, visiting businesses, talking to people, and putting myself out there. At the end of the day, I could look back and feel like I had made a real effort.

Now, I spend so much of my time sitting in front of a computer, searching through job listings, filling out online applications, uploading my resume, and answering the same questions on one website after another. Even when I apply to several jobs in a day, it doesn’t always feel like I’ve accomplished much. I know I’m taking steps in the right direction, but because everything happens behind a screen, it can feel as though I’m not doing enough.

Part of me wants to get out there and visit businesses in person, ask if they’re hiring, and see if I can speak to someone directly. I want to feel like I’m taking a more hands-on approach instead of just sending applications into the internet and hoping someone notices them. I miss that sense of being proactive and making a personal connection with potential employers.

What makes it even more frustrating is that I don’t want to feel like I’m just sitting around waiting for something to happen. I want to feel productive. I want to know that I’m doing everything I reasonably can to find a job and improve my chances of getting hired. Applying online is part of the process now, but sometimes it feels impersonal, repetitive, and discouraging, especially when you don’t get a response or have any idea whether anyone has even looked at your application.

I know finding a job takes time, and I understand that applying for a few positions in one day is still progress. But it’s difficult to stay motivated when the process feels so disconnected from the real world. I think what I’m really missing is the feeling that I’m actively out there working toward something, rather than sitting behind a computer screen and wondering whether all my effort will lead anywhere.

I’m trying to remind myself that the way people find jobs has changed, but that doesn’t mean my efforts are any less valuable. Still, it’s frustrating, and I wish there were more opportunities to make that personal connection and feel like I’m doing more than simply clicking buttons and submitting applications. I want to find a job, but I also want to feel confident that I’m doing everything I can to make it happen.

I guess in a way, I do miss the old way of looking for a job. I mean, I can’t help but wonder if companies are using a person to look through these applications and resumés or if they are using some application or AI to sort through these. Which frustrates me even more.

I don’t have much to do around the house today. I did the laundry yesterday, and I think Karissa is planning to clean the kitchen later. The fridges and pantry still need to be cleaned out before Thanksgiving.

Tommy says we aren’t going to have as many pies this year, and I have to agree. I’m still happy to make pumpkin, apple, and pecan pies, though. He suggested getting the pumpkin pie from Costco since it’s cheaper than buying pie pumpkins to make one from scratch. It does make me a little sad because I enjoy making pies, but I have to admit that it’s less work, and I’m all for that!

On the gaming front: Final Fantasy XIV is collaborating with Final Fantasy VII right now. In FFXIV, there’s a place called the Gold Saucer where you can play all kinds of mini-games. One FFVII-themed mini-game is a keyboard brawler where you type a bunch of words really quickly to defeat the boss. I’m not entirely sure how it works, but it sounds pretty cool, so I’m going to give it a try this weekend. I can type pretty fast and accurately. My hands will be tired, but it’s worth a try.

You can earn enough credits to get Tifa’s outfit, or Barret’s outfit if you have a male character. Usually, the game doesn’t gender-lock outfits, but this time it did, which is a little disappointing. Oh, there are minions too that you can get, and Barret’s gun emote, where you have his gun and do an animation with it. That can be neat.

I’m going to start dinner about 5. We are having lasagna tonight. I wonder if I can get anyone to buy some French bread? I love bread. I think that would be a great idea. Haha! Oh, I forgot that Tommy and I are going shopping when he gets home from work. Maybe I can get bread?