I am a chronic overthinker, practically a professional. If overthinking were a real job, I’d analyze the job description for hidden meanings, question my qualifications, and rewrite it just to be safe. It’s exhausting.

Overthinking has become both my most loyal buddy and my most constant saboteur. It sits with me through decisions big and small, offering a running commentary I never asked for. Sometimes it helps me see things clearly, and other times it drags me into spirals I didn’t need to visit. It’s a strange duality, comforting in its familiarity, yet frustrating in how it complicates even the simplest moments. Either way, overthinking remains a constant tug-of-war that always shapes my choices.

Overthinking usually leads me straight into anxiety, or maybe it’s the other way around. Sometimes it feels impossible to tell which one starts the cycle. One moment I’m just thinking something through, and the next I’m spiraling down a path of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. It’s like my mind is both the alarm and the fire, setting itself off and then panicking about the noise. If I’m not careful, the two feed off each other until it feels overwhelming.

I think Christmas brings out the absolute worst in my overthinking. Decorations, presents, Christmas cards, food, every little detail feels like a puzzle I have to solve perfectly. The funny part is that every year I tell myself I’m going to start early, stay organized, and actually enjoy the process. And yet, without fail, I still end up scrambling at the last minute.

Right now, I’m staring at an unfinished shopping list and thinking about Christmas cards I haven’t even started. It’s like the season speeds up while I’m still trying to figure out where to begin. Maybe this year will be different… but I say that every year, too. Thankfully, Tommy is helping me with the Christmas cards, and I think we may get them out soon. Maybe even on time.

Maybe I’ll finally finish the shopping list today. Of course, that means I actually have to sit down and do it now, which I haven’t quite talked myself into yet. Right now I’m in the middle of studying, and my brain is definitely more in “school mode” than “holiday prep mode.”

I’m thinking I might take an early lunch and give myself an hour to focus on the list. A little break, some food. Yes… that actually sounds like a good plan. I’m giving myself an early lunch today since we’re leaving for Karissa’s appointments at 12:30. After that, we’ll take a little time to browse around Costco. Alex will drop Karissa and me off at her second appointment before heading to work, and then Tommy and Kel will pick us up afterward when they get off work. I hope they won’t be too late picking us up. The clinic probably closes at 5, so we might end up waiting outside afterward. The city isn’t as cold as where we live, which is definitely a good thing.

I worked on the shopping list a bit. I’m going to post this now because it will be late when I get back to my computer tonight.