I’m listening to ’90s music while studying. Is it helping me focus? Unclear. Is it making me want to pause every few minutes to sing along or relive my youth? Absolutely. At this point, my brain is half taking notes and half debating whether this song still slaps. Productivity may be questionable, but the vibes are immaculate, and honestly, sometimes that counts as studying too.

Every time a certain vibe of a song comes on, Tommy goes, “That’s your jam.” At this point, I apparently have an entire pantry of jams. Strawberry jam. Grape jam. Weird 90s-alt-rock-with-a-hint-of-angst jam. Cozy sad song jam. Upbeat-cleaning-the-house jam. I didn’t even know I had this many jams, but here we are, me, musically well-preserved and spreadable across all genres.

I’m really not sure what to write about today. I took a break from cybersecurity, firewalls, threats, and all things ominous, just to sit here and stare at a blank screen, as if it had personally wronged me. You’d think stepping away from something technical would spark creativity, but no. The thoughts clocked out, too. Now it’s just me, the cursor blinking impatiently, and the quiet pressure of feeling like something should be happening. Maybe this counts as writing after all: documenting the moment when my brain decided to enter airplane mode.

I was just in the kitchen while Karissa was rummaging through the fridge, completely unaware of my presence. One of the unexpected perks of her being deaf is that I can scare her with absolutely zero effort or planning. No sneaking required. No dramatic buildup. Just exist.

She closed the fridge, stood up… and there I was. Instant jump. Mission accomplished. I laughed. She recovered. Everyone lived.

Now I’m heading back into the kitchen to figure out lunch, which feels like a much bigger challenge than the scare ever was. I’m not quite sure what I want, but I do know I’m officially over PB&J’s. I’ve reached my lifetime quota.

Tommy suggested the other day that I have a salad, which is adorable considering we don’t have any lettuce. I guess I’ll just stand in front of the fridge again and hope something reveals itself… preferably without another victim this time.

I studied for a few hours, and now I’m in that weird in-between space where my brain is done being productive but not quite ready to commit to doing absolutely nothing. I have options, though, so many options. I could read. I could fall down a YouTube rabbit hole and somehow emerge three hours later watching videos I never intended to click.

There’s also Animal Crossing, which is very tempting since the new update dropped yesterday, and my island is probably wondering why I’ve abandoned it like this. Or I could jump into Final Fantasy XIV and lose myself in another world entirely. Decisions are hard.

The good news is Alex is taking care of dinner tonight, so that’s one less thing occupying my mental load. No “what’s for dinner?” anxiety hovering in the background. Maybe the plan is to read for a bit and then play a game afterward.

Tommy has band practice tonight, and Kel won’t be home until later, so the evening feels open and unstructured in a nice way. No rush, no pressure. Just me, a quiet house, and the very important decision of which kind of relaxing I want to do. Oh! I should make some hot tea, too! That sounds really nice right now.