Even though I have plenty of things I could write about, I sometimes feel completely paralyzed when it comes to actually starting. It’s strange because the thoughts are there. Sometimes there are so many of them that they’re practically fighting for attention. I can have an entire conversation with myself in my head, with thoughts, feelings, memories, questions, and little observations all bouncing around at once. But the moment I sit down to write, suddenly I have no idea where to begin.

This works with talking as well. I have things to say, but never know how to get them out.

How do you take all of that noise in your head and somehow turn it into words on a page? Or, in this case, onto a screen?

Do you just start talking? Do you need some clever or witty opening sentence to pull yourself in? Are you supposed to begin with something profound, like you’re writing the first line of a book that someone else is eventually going to read? Or do you just stop caring about how it sounds and start jotting down whatever comes to mind?

I think maybe I put too much pressure on the beginning. As if the first sentence has to be important enough to justify everything that comes after it. But why? This is a journal. It doesn’t need an introduction. It doesn’t need a thesis statement. There doesn’t have to be a point, and I certainly don’t need to impress anyone.

Maybe I can just write, “I don’t know what to write today,” and go from there.

Actually, I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing right now.

And maybe that’s the answer to the whole problem. Maybe writing doesn’t always have to begin with an idea. Sometimes it can begin with the feeling of not knowing what to say. Sometimes the act of writing itself is what helps you figure out what you were trying to say in the first place.

I guess I already solved the problem without realizing it. I was stuck wondering how to start, so I started writing about being stuck. And somehow, once the words were on the screen, the rest started to follow.

Maybe that’s all journaling really needs to be.

Just start.

Write the thought that’s sitting closest to the surface. Write something messy. Write something boring. Write one sentence and see where it goes. It doesn’t have to be witty or profound or perfectly organized. It just has to be honest enough to get the thoughts out of your head, and somewhere you can actually see them.

I guess that works too.

Anywho, it seems that I have gone off on a bit of a tangent. Let me get back to what I was actually talking about: last weekend.

Last weekend was actually pretty nice and, for the most part, fairly relaxing. Friday was our usual shopping day. Tommy and I went to a few different stores to pick up some things we needed, wandered around a bit, and then eventually came home. Once we got back, I settled in and played Final Fantasy XIV for a while. There is something really nice about coming home after running errands, getting comfortable, and disappearing into a game for a few hours.

On Saturday, Tommy and I woke up fairly early because we had decided to go hiking in the mountains. The hike was about four miles, and it was definitely a workout for me. It is officially rated as a moderate hike, and I can understand why. It wasn’t impossibly difficult, and there were plenty of sections that were manageable, but there were definitely a few points where I thought, “Okay, this is getting hard.” Some of the uphill portions really made me work for it.

Still, the effort was worth it once we reached the top. The view of the city from up there was really nice, and it was a good reminder of why people put themselves through the difficult parts of hiking in the first place. There is something satisfying about reaching the top, catching your breath, and getting to look out over everything from a completely different perspective.

The funny thing is that, even though the hike was challenging, I didn’t feel nearly as completely wiped out afterward as I did the first time I went hiking. I remember that first hike leaving me feeling like my legs were going to fall off. I was absolutely exhausted afterward. This time, I was tired, but it was a much more manageable kind of tired. I could actually function like a normal human being afterward, which I consider an improvement! Of course, I did take a nap when I got home.

In a few weeks, we’re planning to go on another hike. Tommy says this one is easier than the one we did on Saturday, so I’m looking forward to it. Hopefully, he’s telling the truth! Either way, I’m enjoying getting out into the mountains and doing something different, even if my legs don’t always appreciate the experience as much as I do.

Sunday morning and afternoon were much more peaceful. I spent some time watching YouTube videos and generally taking it easy. I also helped Tommy with some of his work lunch preparation and dinner. It was a pretty quiet and relaxing part of the day, which was probably a good thing after the hike the day before.

Then, around 6:00, we left the house and headed to another city north of us to see the Cybertronic Spree in concert.

If you’re not familiar with them, Cybertronic Spree is a Canadian sci-fi rock band that takes the concept of a tribute band and pushes it to another level. The members dress up as characters from The Transformers and perform hard-rocking versions of songs from the 1986 Transformers: The Movie soundtrack. They also perform covers of classic rock, metal, and pop songs.

It was really fun.

Seeing a group of musicians dressed as Transformers while absolutely rocking out on stage is exactly the sort of thing that sounds completely absurd when you try to explain it to someone, but makes perfect sense once you’re actually there. The whole thing felt like a giant celebration of geek culture and 80s nostalgia.

The opening act of Cybertronic Spree was Spaceman Bob. Which was interesting to say the least. Spaceman Bob is a comedic stage persona created by Robbie Pfeffer (frontman of the band Playboy Manbaby). Dressed as an intergalactic being who claims every day is the weekend, he gained viral attention for his humorous rap audition performing the song “The Weekend” on Season 20 of ⁠America’s Got Talent.

So, all in all, it was a pretty good weekend. Friday was spent shopping and playing games, Saturday was spent getting my legs acquainted with the concept of physical exertion, and Sunday ended with a wonderfully ridiculous sci-fi rock concert.

I had Tommy’s leftover chicken from his lunch prep. I made the rub that went on the chicken; I should have remembered that I put cayenne pepper in it. My sinuses were draining. But it was really good. And I added the Greek yogurt and pico de gallo to the chicken. It was good. I forgot to add cheese. But that’s cool.

We seem to be in some heatwave. There seems to be a heatwave everywhere. I’ve heard about a heatwave on the west coast, east coast and Europe. Is this global warming or just an especially hot summer?

I did laundry today. I need to take the last load out of the dryer. Kel’s dad is at the hospital, so hopefully he is alright. I’m going to go take care of the laundry and clean up around my desk.