I’m not really feeling it today. I feel a bit mentally unstable… not necessarily that I actually am mentally unstable, but that’s how I feel right now. I’m angry, and I don’t really know why. There doesn’t seem to be any particular reason for it. I just woke up with irritation and anger hanging over me.

Well, there is one thing I can point to: the water bill. I’m really angry about that. It’s much too high this month, and I think the swamp cooler might be the culprit. It could be leaking again, which would explain why the water usage, and therefore the bill, has gone up so much.

But I was angry before I even saw the bill. And I knew checking it probably wasn’t going to help. I had a feeling that seeing a higher-than-expected bill would just set me off. And yet, what did I do? I checked it anyway. Of course I did.

Sometimes I think I almost look for things that will give my mood a reason to get worse. Not consciously, exactly. I just know I’m already irritated, and then I do something I know might make me even more irritated. It’s not exactly the smartest decision-making.

Anyway, I talked to Tommy and had some breakfast, and I do feel a little better now. That probably tells me something. Maybe I was hungry and running on an empty stomach, which certainly didn’t help my mood. Sometimes what feels like a huge emotional problem is at least partly just being hungry, tired, or overwhelmed.

I’m still not feeling completely like myself, but I’m doing a little better. Maybe I don’t need to figure out exactly I’m angry right now. Maybe I just need to give myself some time, eat something, talk to someone, and let the feeling pass instead of feeding it.

We moved Alexis into her on-campus apartment on Saturday, and it turned into a much longer day than we expected. The original plan was pretty simple: drop off her things, make a quick trip to Walmart for whatever she needed, and then head home. Of course, things rarely go exactly according to plan.

When we arrived, there was an orientation that we hadn’t really accounted for. Alexis had to attend, sign some paperwork, and even get fingerprinted. That took up a good portion of the day before we could actually get started on the move.

Once all of that was finished, we found her apartment and started carrying everything inside. Thankfully, that part actually went pretty smoothly. All that weightlifting finally paid off! We hauled bag after bag and all the other things she had accumulated into her apartment without too much trouble. We also got to meet her roommate, who seems very nice. It’s always nice to meet the person your child is going to be sharing a living space with and get a good first impression.

After we got most of her things moved in, we headed to Walmart. Alexis needed quite a few things for the apartment, including food, household supplies, and a router. The school provides the internet service, but students need their own router to actually access it from their apartment.

Alexis did pretty well at Walmart. She bought the food and household things she needed and spent about what I expected she would. She wanted help with how to buy food for an apartment rather than a dorm room. It was a bit hard to explain, but buy what you would normally eat now, then find some recipes you’d like to try out and then buy those ingredients. It did make me laugh, though, because whatever happened to back-to-school shopping being about pencils, notebooks, folders, and maybe a new backpack? Alexis bought no pencils and no notebooks. Not one! Everything seems to be digital these days. She did go to the school bookstore on Sunday, though, so maybe she picked up some school supplies there. Maybe. I guess we’ll find out.

Once we got back from Walmart, there was still more work to do. We had to lug everything up to her apartment and get it put away. Tommy then set up the router so Alexis would have internet, which was probably one of the more important jobs of the day. He also rearranged her desk and dresser so the room made a little more sense and was easier to move around in.

Her room has a queen-sized bed, which is nice, but the room itself is pretty small. Honestly, a twin-sized bed would make much more sense and would give her quite a bit more floor space. The queen takes up a good portion of the room. Still, I suppose having a bigger bed is one of those little comforts that makes a small apartment feel a little more like home.

By the time everything was moved in, set up, and organized as much as we could manage, we were all pretty tired. Alexis stayed busy on Sunday unpacking and getting her room arranged. I’m sure it will take her a little while to get everything exactly the way she wants it, but at least she has the basics in place and can start settling into her new home. Oh, she got a job on Sunday. She is working where she worked while in undergrad. So that is cool.

While Alexis was working on her apartment, we spent Sunday doing some shopping for dinner and getting Tommy’s lunches ready for his upcoming work week. Then, of course, we had to make dinner. Sunday was definitely less chaotic than Saturday, but there was still plenty to do.

Tommy also took a look at Karissa’s computer, which had been freezing and crashing. Thankfully, he found a pretty simple problem. There was a cable in the CPU fan that had gotten in the way and could easily have been causing the computer to overheat and shut down. No CPU fan means no cooling, no cooling means an unhappy CPU, and an unhappy CPU eventually means no computer.

Fortunately, he was able to take care of the problem, and Karissa’s computer is working well again. She may eventually need a new computer, but thankfully, she doesn’t need one right now. And now is probably not the best time to be buying one anyway. Computer prices are way too high, so if we can keep her current one running for a while longer, that’s definitely the better option.

So, all in all, it was a very busy weekend. We moved Alexis into her new apartment, met her roommate, made several trips up and down the stairs with bags upon bags, went shopping, set up her internet, rearranged furniture, and helped her get settled. It’s exciting to see her getting settled and becoming more independent, even if watching your kid move out comes with a lot of work, a lot of shopping, and a few more trips to Walmart than anyone really wants to make.

So this morning went pretty much as planned. The only real mishap was that I dropped my pill box, and unfortunately, it broke. Now I can’t fill the Sunday compartment with pills because there’s no longer a cover for it. I guess that means I’ll have to start looking around for a new pill box. It’s a small inconvenience, but still frustrating when something breaks because of an accident.

Other than that, the morning has been going fairly well. I feel like I got enough sleep, and I’m not the least bit tired, which is a good thing. I studied for a little while, but eventually I completely lost focus. Rather than forcing myself to keep studying when my mind wasn’t cooperating, I decided to write instead. Writing seems to be helping with my mood, too. I don’t feel angry anymore, which is a definite improvement. I am feeling restless now, but honestly, I’d much rather feel restless than angry. Restlessness feels like something I can work with, while the anger was much heavier and harder to shake.

I also started a load of laundry. At first, I wasn’t planning to do it, but then I looked at how much clothing had piled up in the basket and figured I’d better get the chore done. So now the clothes are in the dryer, and at least that task is underway.

Oh, and I just remembered that Alexis has a washer and dryer in her apartment. That will be so much more helpful for her than having to go somewhere else every time she needs to do laundry. Having them right there will make such a basic household chore a lot easier and more convenient for her. It’s one less thing she’ll have to worry about or make a separate trip to take care of.

Overall, I’d say the morning has been pretty productive, even if it hasn’t gone exactly as I originally imagined. I got enough sleep, I’m not tired, I got some studying done, I started the laundry, and writing has helped me settle down emotionally. I may be restless now, but that feels manageable. For the moment, that’s good enough.

Kel’s dad is well… ok. I can’t say if he’s ok or not. But he’s stable, and that is the best we can ask for right now. Kel has been giving updates, and she said today isn’t as gloomy in the news, so that is good to hear.

I have my planner for next year picked out.

What? I know. It’s August. I am fully aware that there are still several perfectly good months left in this year. But it’s planner season, and once planner season arrives, apparently I have no choice but to start making decisions about a year that hasn’t even happened yet.

I’m sticking with the Hobonichi Weeks for next year, because apparently I have found my planner soulmate and see no reason to mess with a good thing. But I have already picked out the cover I want. So that’s one decision for Future Me to be grateful for.

I buy mine from JetPens, which is convenient because they’re in the U.S. I would love to order directly from the original Hobonichi store in Japan, especially because they include those adorable little gifts with your order. And yes, I am absolutely the kind of person who can be emotionally influenced by a tiny stationery freebie.

Unfortunately, once you add international shipping, tariffs, and all the other expenses that come with ordering something from Japan, that cute little planner starts feeling like it needs to justify its existence financially. At that point, it’s much easier to order from inside the U.S. and let Future Me enjoy the planner without having to explain the purchase to Present Me.

So, yes. It’s August, and I already have next year’s planner chosen.

Some people plan ahead. I apparently plan a year ahead. Well, months ahead.

Speaking of Japan, I find planning this trip both incredibly exciting and a little overwhelming at the same time. There is so much to see and do that I almost don’t know where to begin! The funny thing is, we really don’t have much of a clue yet about exactly where we want to go or what we want to do once we get there. We do know that we’ll be on a Princess cruise that will take us to several different cities in Japan, so at least we have a general framework for the trip.

We’re starting in Tokyo, which is pretty exciting all by itself. I imagine we’ll see some shrines and temples, wander around different neighborhoods, eat really good food, and probably just take in as much of the atmosphere as we can. Tokyo seems like one of those places where something is interesting around every corner, so I’m sure we’ll discover plenty even without having every minute planned out.

Of course, being the Final Fantasy fan that I am, I immediately noticed that the Eorzea Café is in Tokyo. That would be a lot of fun to visit, but I don’t think we’ll end up going this time. And that’s perfectly okay. This is Tommy’s birthday trip, and the most important thing is that we’re in Japan together and enjoying the experience.

I’m also really looking forward to the cruise itself. We’ll be traveling on Princess, and I’ve always liked the Princess ships, so having that familiar part of the trip makes me feel a little more comfortable. It will be nice to have the cruise as our home base while getting to see different parts of Japan without having to worry about constantly packing and unpacking.

And it’s not like I’ve actually done much planning myself. I really haven’t! Tommy has definitely done more of the actual planning than I have. My main contribution so far has been watching Japan travel videos with him and getting increasingly excited about all the possibilities. For now, I think I’m perfectly happy to keep watching videos, seeing what catches my attention, and slowly getting a feel for what Japan has to offer.

We don’t have to have everything figured out yet. Something is exciting about going somewhere that feels so new and unfamiliar and discovering it as we go. Just knowing that we’re going to be in Japan, celebrating Tommy’s birthday, eating good food, seeing beautiful places, and making memories together already makes me pretty happy.

I’m rambling on when I should be studying. I keep taking a break to write. I’m not even in a talkative mood. Not that I’m ever really in a talkative mood. I’m trying to change that. It’s hard when I’ve spent so long not talking. That talking doesn’t come very naturally to me. It’s more natural for me to write than it is to talk.

Ok, back to studying.

I’ve been studying for a few hours now, and I think I’m going to take a little break and make myself something to drink. I haven’t decided yet whether I want tea or an iced coffee. I’m leaning toward one of them, but somehow I keep going back and forth. Maybe I’ll decide once I get into the kitchen.

It’s also arm day in my weightlifting routine, which I actually don’t mind. Arm day is one of the workouts I’m fairly happy to do. Unfortunately, it also happens to be the day when I have to do planks, and that is the part of the workout I really don’t look forward to.

I can hold a plank for a little over two minutes, so I know I’m capable of doing them. It’s not necessarily that I can’t do them or that they’re impossibly difficult. They are hard, of course, especially toward the end, when you’re just waiting for the time to be over. But I think what bothers me most is the position itself. Having to balance my entire body on my elbows and toes is just uncomfortable and awkward. There’s something about being stuck in that position, holding completely still, that I really dislike.

So, yes, I can do planks for just over two minutes. I’m actually a little proud of that. But that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy doing them. I really, really don’t like planks. Out of all the exercises in my routine, they’re probably one of the ones I’m happiest to see end.

I had iced coffee. And I washed Tommy’s hockey unders, so I need to transfer that into the dryer. I’m going to search the internet for cloud computing models to see if I can find some examples.

Actually, Tommy showed me what is for dinner. So I’m going to start making that. Hawaiian pulled pork in the Instant Pot. Maybe some tea cause I feel like something warm.