I don’t really feel like writing today, but here I am anyway. Sometimes I think the hardest part is simply sitting down and putting my thoughts into words when my mind doesn’t feel like cooperating. Lately, I’ve been wondering if this medication is messing with my head a little too much. Ritalin can have a side effect of making someone irritable, and unfortunately, I think I’m experiencing that pretty strongly. I’ve noticed myself getting frustrated and irritated more easily, and I don’t particularly like the way it makes me feel.

The frustrating part is that I really want this medication to work. I want to be able to focus better. I want studying to feel easier and for my brain to stay on one thing instead of constantly wandering off. Being able to concentrate better would make a huge difference for me, especially with everything I’m trying to learn right now. So there’s a part of me that really wants to give the medication a fair chance and see if things improve.

At the same time, I don’t want to sacrifice how I feel just to be able to concentrate. If the medication continues to make me feel this irritable or affects my mood too much, I’m going to have to talk to my doctor about it and figure out what to do next. I want something that helps me function better, not something that makes me feel like I’m fighting with my own brain. I’m hoping I can find the right balance because I really don’t want to give up on the possibility of being able to focus better.

On a happier note, Karissa and Kel went to Walmart earlier today, and Karissa bought me a Hello Kitty onesie pajama set. It’s so cute! I’m a sucker for cute pajamas, and the fact that they’re Hello Kitty makes them even better.

I also studied today, which I’m glad I did. I’ve been working on making sure I know the important network protocols and ports and continuing to read through the book. There’s still a lot to learn, but I’m slowly getting there. Networking can be confusing sometimes, especially when there are so many protocols, ports, and terms to remember, but I’m trying to keep working at it instead of getting overwhelmed by everything at once.

I guess that’s enough for today. Ugh. I really don’t have much more in me right now. I’m going to keep this short, give my brain a break, and hopefully try again tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel more like writing. For tonight, I think I’ve done enough.