I have a few empty notebooks that I’d really like to start using, but I’m not entirely sure what to do with them yet. I have one small notebook that I’d like to turn into a commonplace book, a place to collect quotes, interesting ideas, and things I want to remember. I also have a larger journal that I’m thinking of using as a media journal to keep track of books, movies, shows, and other things I consume. The problem is that I’m not sure how to begin or exactly what I should include.

It’s a beautiful journal, and I’ve been wanting to use it for a while. At the same time, I feel anxious about putting anything in it. There’s something intimidating about writing in a notebook that looks so nice. I want to keep it looking neat and beautiful, and I worry that I’ll somehow “ruin” it by making mistakes or not using it the “right” way. I’m not even sure if that makes sense, but it’s a feeling I’ve struggled with for a long time. Sometimes the desire to make something perfect makes it difficult to start at all.

Recently, I received a confirmation letter from my former therapist letting me know that I’ve been placed on the waiting list for a new therapist. I’m grateful to know that I’m at least on the list, but now I find myself wondering how long I’ll have to wait. I can’t help but wonder how many people are ahead of me and how long the list actually is. There’s a lot of uncertainty in not knowing, and I suppose all I can do for now is wait and hope that I’ll hear something sooner or later. I’m not really in a hurry to have a new therapist, but it will be good to know what is up. I do wonder if I will get a call while I’m on the trip to Disney World? I guess if I haven’t gotten a call by then, I can give a call to the number my former therapist gave me about the list. I think it’s just the same number as the clinic.

Tommy has three days off next week. Then he goes back to work on Thursday, only to have Friday off again. It makes me wonder why he just doesn’t take Thursday off as well and enjoy five days in a row. It seems a bit strange to break up the week like that.

Today I’ve been reading more about cloud models and the different services they provide. There’s a lot to learn, but I’m slowly starting to connect the pieces. I’m about to take a few more quizzes and see how much information I’ve actually retained. Sometimes the quizzes show me what I know, and sometimes they show me what I still need to review.

Another day has come and gone, and once again I feel like I didn’t write very much. Even so, I managed to accomplish a few things. I started the pork roast in the crockpot this morning and took care of the laundry. It feels like I’m always doing laundry. No matter how many loads I finish, there always seems to be another basket waiting.

Tommy has band practice tonight, so we’re on our own for dinner. That’s why we decided to cook the pork roast Chris left for us. It’s nice not having to worry too much about what to make. I love those simple meals that practically take care of themselves.

Until Kel comes home, I think I’ll spend some time reading The High King. I’m enjoying it and look forward to curling up with a book for a while before the evening settles in. Once Kel gets home, we’ll have dinner together. Alex has to work tonight, so he won’t be home until much later. That means it’s just Kel, the girls, and me for dinner this evening. I think I’ll make myself a cup of matcha tea.

It’s raining outside today, and I’ve always loved the smell of rain. I can’t hear the rain, but I can smell it. Merlin is spending his time with the girls, while Everest has claimed his usual spot beside me. Merlin desperately wants to be outside, splashing around and playing in the rain. It always makes me laugh because he absolutely hates baths and avoids water whenever possible, yet he seems perfectly content running around in the rain. Somehow, in his mind, those are two entirely different things.

I think I will start reading now until it’s time for dinner.