I have energy today.

I don’t know if it’s the medication or what, but I have energy today. Being tired is apparently not in the cards. And honestly, I’m not sure what to do with all of it.

Well, technically, I do know what to do with it. I have plenty of things I could be doing. The problem is that I’ve spent most of the day sitting in a chair studying. Now, I don’t mind studying. In fact, I actually enjoy it. I like learning new things, especially when I can feel myself starting to understand something that seemed complicated before. But when I have this much restless energy, sitting in one chair for hours becomes a little frustrating.

I feel like I need to do something.

I have clean clothes sitting there that still need to be put away. I feel like cleaning. I feel like organizing. I feel like rearranging something, sorting something, accomplishing something that involves actually moving my body instead of staring at a screen and taking notes.

It’s a strange problem to have. I’m used to feeling like I need more energy to get things done. Today, I have the energy; I’m just trapped in a chair with a textbook.

And speaking of energy, I almost forgot about something that happened during my workout the other day. It was leg day, and I was doing Romanian Deadlifts. I was supposed to lift 75 pounds, which isn’t too bad, I guess, although it was more than I had lifted the week before. I was a little nervous about it, so I asked Tommy what weights I should put on the bar.

He told me. So I loaded the bar and started doing my Romanian Deadlifts. And they felt… heavy. Really heavy. But I didn’t question it. I figured, well, I guess this is what 75 pounds feels like today.

Then it was Tommy’s turn to do his set. He looked at the bar, looked at me, and realized he had made a mistake. He had forgotten that the bar itself weighs 30 pounds. So I wasn’t lifting 75 pounds. I was lifting 105 pounds. No wonder it felt so heavy!

I was both amused and slightly horrified when we figured it out. But now I also have this little bit of accidental confidence because apparently I can kind of lift 105 pounds. Well, my legs can lift 105 pounds, since Romanian Deadlifts are a leg exercise. But my arms are still the ones holding onto all that weight, so I’m counting it.

I think that’s pretty cool.

I’m definitely going back down to 75 pounds on the next leg day, though. There’s a difference between pushing myself and overexerting myself. I want to challenge myself and get stronger, but I don’t need to accidentally turn every workout into a test of survival. Push myself, yes. Overexert myself, no.

It seems like my Foundayo medication has been delayed again, too. I called the Walmart pharmacy and asked them why they keep pushing it back. They said I need the doctor’s authorization. So I went into my patient portal and sent a message to the doctor about the prior authorization. I’m hoping this gets resolved soon.

I also don’t have an update on Alexis’s health insurance yet because the website still hasn’t updated. I’ll call on Monday and see what’s going on with that. Hopefully there will be some kind of answer by then.

On a completely different note, I’ve decided to start keeping a commonplace book again.

If you’ve never heard of one, it’s basically just a notebook where you write down random things you want to remember. There isn’t really a strict format. You can put in quotes, interesting facts, ideas, observations, notes from books, things you learn, or pretty much anything else that catches your attention.

I want to start putting some of my cybersecurity notes in mine. I have an unused notebook that I’m going to dedicate to it. I had another notebook that I was already using for writing down random things, but naturally, I can’t find it. I’m sure it’s somewhere in my stuff. Somewhere. That’s the problem with having stuff. Eventually, your stuff starts hiding your stuff from you.

So, for now, I’m going to use the new notebook.

And I like the idea of having a physical place for all these little bits of information. I spend so much time studying digitally that there’s something satisfying about writing something down by hand and having it exist on an actual page.

Which brings me to an important question:

Has your handwriting survived the digital revolution? Because mine hasn’t. I swear my handwriting has gotten worse over the years because I don’t practice it very much anymore. I spend so much time typing that writing by hand almost feels like a forgotten skill. My fingers are perfectly happy flying across a keyboard, while my pens sit in their little cup and silently judge me.

I can almost hear them. Remember us? Digital tools absolutely make life easier. They make it faster to write, edit, organize, search, store, and find information. And I genuinely like technology. I like having a computer that can hold thousands of pages of notes instead of having to dig through a pile of notebooks to find something I wrote six months ago. Yes, Tommy, I know my old computer is a potato, as you have called it. But it’s a nice potato!

But there’s still something special about stationery. Give me a nice notebook, a good pen, and a blank page, and suddenly I’m happy. At heart, I’m still a stationery devotee. Maybe that’s why the commonplace book appeals to me so much. It combines two things I really enjoy: learning new things and having an excuse to use a notebook. And perhaps it will even give my neglected handwriting a chance to recover from years of keyboard abuse. My pens are certainly rooting for me.

I wasn’t too hungry today. I know now that loss of appetite can be a side effect of Ritalin. I did eat lunch, though. I had egg whites, yogurt with fruit, and some leftover chicken. It was good. I didn’t even feel like snacking a few hours later.

Tommy has band practice tonight, and they have a concert tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to seeing him perform. Afterward, I believe we’re going over to some friends’ house for a birthday party. I think we’re spending the night there and gaming afterward. Tommy may also have to go into work tomorrow. Poor guy. On a Saturday, too.

It’s weird having this much energy and not feeling tired. I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I was a little irritable this morning. Mind you, I’m not a morning person, but I’m usually not irritable in the morning, so I noticed it.

I’m trying to pay attention to how this medication is making me feel and how it’s affecting my thoughts. I don’t want any bad thoughts creeping into my head. This afternoon, I did start having some negative thoughts. I told myself to stop and went back to studying. Studying helped a little because it gave my mind something else to focus on. I think that’s what my head needs right now… something productive to concentrate on instead of letting my thoughts wander.

Now I think I’ll see what I’m going to eat for dinner since we are fending. Maybe put clothes away and read for a bit.